Yep, another fucking birthday…. just another day….
Been a while since I posted anything here, I’ve got a lot on my mind and a lot going on in my life and I’m really depressed honestly but whatever.
I’ve got a birthday coming up in a week actually and I’m getting older and it makes me think of things I’ve missed in my life and one of them is revenge on those who have wronged me.
There are so many people that have screwed me over in my life and it’s my fault I know it, I’m what you would call a ‘nice guy’ so there are people who happily took advantage of that and then there are those who did things to me that were out of my control just because they could.
I want revenge, I want them to suffer, sadly a few of them have already died and all I can do is hope they are suffering and burning in the fires of hell for what they’ve done and how they’ve lived their pathetic lives, because I wasn’t the only one they hurt.
There’s a special place in hell for people who take advantage of other people I’m sure of that, endless suffering I would hope.
With all I’ve been through I’ve learned to hate people and not trust people anymore and it seems every time I try to open up and make friends I get let down and disappointed yet again.
Such is life I guess.
It’s only been not quite a month since I found out my wife was cheating on me and that she was engaged to another man but I miss her and I miss my life with her. I think maybe it’s I miss the future; I’m thinking about what would or could have been as I never thought of this ever happening. This totally blindsided me honestly, I did not expect this at all, I think I might still be in shock.
Guess the title could also be PTSD Ended My Life and Ruined My Marriage, that would work as well, sure feels that way to me.
Where do I begin?
All I want to do is sleep and that’s it anymore, but then I go through periods of time where I can’t sleep, so it seems I just can’t win.
So it’s been a while hasn’t it? It’s August, I haven’t wrote here since January, wow, I hadn’t realized it was that long, does it matter though? Not much has changed, gotten worse actually, but that’s life I guess.
What’s the point of trying to live a good life when other people can just go around and spread lies about you?